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Along with fairy lights, garlands, and mistletoe, alcohol is often a major component of holiday parties. For people in recovery, the holidays can be one of the most challenging times of the year. If you can relate, you may wonder if it’s possible have sober fun during the holidays or if its even worth trying.
You might consider declining event invitations if you know people will be drinking, but this option isn’t always realistic. Plus, avoiding holiday gatherings can make you feel isolated, which can threaten your recovery by triggering feelings of emotional relapse.
If the holidays make you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, this article is for you. With the right amount of planning and self-awareness, sober fun is possible, and you can spend quality time with friends and family without jeopardizing your sobriety.
Know Your Triggers and Boundaries
Because not all holiday parties are created equal, think ahead and make a plan for what you’ll do if your sobriety is put to the test. For example, you might be triggered by particular people, places, or situations.
Knowing your triggers is about identifying what makes you want to drink. For example, it might be difficult not to drink around your former drinking buddies or people who don’t support your sobriety. Certain spaces, including bars, concert venues, and sports events, can also be triggering for some people.
It’s fine to decline invitations to events if you know certain people will be there or don’t feel ready to be in an environment you associate with drinking. You can also leave the party early if you realize you’re not feeling strong enough at the moment. You need to look out for yourself; you don’t owe anyone your presence or an explanation if you decide to leave.
Bring Your Own Nonalcoholic Beverages to the Party
Sometimes, holding a cold, fizzy drink in your hands can be enough to make you feel like you’re taking part in the festivities. Whether it’s kombucha, nonalcoholic beer, sparkling water, or ginger ale, you can find many nonalcoholic options on grocery store shelves. Whatever you choose, bringing your own drinks to the party helps you stay in control of what you’re consuming and have sober fun.
Have an Accountability Partner
According to a study by the American Society of Training and Development, telling someone you’re committed to reaching a goal can increase your chance of success to as much as 65%. And with regular check-ins, that statistic climbs to 95%.
By asking a friend or family member to be your accountability partner, you’ll have extra support and motivation to stay sober. In addition to making sure you don’t fall off the wagon, this person’s job is to be your rock and steer you away from the bar. Better yet, they can be sober with you, embracing “sober fun,” so you’re not the only person not drinking at the party.
If you must attend the party solo, tell someone you trust that you’re planning on attending an event where you might be tempted to drink. Ask them to check in on you throughout the evening. Call or text them if you feel the urge to drink. You don’t have to do this alone.
Plan a Game or Other Activity for Everyone to Take Part In
If you’re worried about not being able to open up without alcohol or other substances, playing a game can be a good way to break the ice. Think classic party games — the rules of Twister and Headbands are easy enough to play with minimal explanations.
Alternatively, you can plan a murder mystery game or propose a spontaneous night of YouTube karaoke. The more people are laughing and talking because of actual things happening in the room, the easier it is to keep your mind off the fact that you’re not drinking.
In smaller settings, games can be a great way to create new memories now that you’re sober. Instead of stopping by the liquor store on your way to the party, visit your local department store or board game store and find an activity that helps people bond. Games are a fantastic way to redefine what sober fun looks like, leaving everyone with memorable moments that don’t involve alcohol.
Remember the Skills you Learned in Recovery
If you feel the urge to drink coming on, think about some of the coping skills you learned in recovery. For example, consider how quickly things will unravel if you decide to have just one drink.
If that’s not enough, remember to take things one day at a time. If you find yourself thinking about how difficult it will be to resist alcohol for the rest of your life, stop and breathe. Focus on the next minute or the next hour. Don’t worry about future triggers. Just deal with what’s in front of you right now.
If you experience a craving, acknowledge it and try to distract yourself with a healthy activity. Take a walk, get something to eat, watch a video or listen to your favorite song. All cravings are temporary, and you don’t need to give in for a craving to subside.
Redefine Fun
If you’ve had any cognitive behavioral therapy as part of your recovery process, you might have been asked to redefine what fun means to you. It’s normal to glamorize the days when drinking was associated with meeting new people and having new experiences. In contrast, recovery can feel like hard work, especially during stressful times such as the holidays.
In reality, most of the time you spent drinking was probably filled with more negative experiences than positive ones. If you find you’re missing the fun times you had while drinking, try making a list that helps reframe what fun means to you now. You can also list the advantages of remaining sober, such as:
- Saving money to spend on other things
- Driving safely without worrying about getting a DUI
- Controlling your emotions leads to improved relationships with friends and family
- Avoiding hangovers
- Avoiding blackouts
- Getting better sleep
- Enjoying overall health
- Being able to look ahead and work on goals
Your list might look different. It can also change over time. Whatever you decide to include, reminding yourself of everything you’ve gained since you stopped drinking is a crucial part of preventing a relapse.
Host Your Own Sober Party
An increasing number of people are cutting back on drinking these days, whether it’s for health reasons, to save money, or otherwise. Hosting your own alcohol-free shindig can be a way to make sure you attend at least one holiday event where you don’t feel like the odd one out. Whether you’re newly sober or you’ve been on this journey for years, you might even think of this as your very own recovery party to celebrate how far you’ve come.
Hosting a sober party is a perfect way to show others how much fun sober fun can be. You can put a new spin on old traditions by stocking up on bitters, syrups, and different kinds of sparkling water to create mocktails. Cue up a great holiday playlist and allow your loved ones to socialize without feeling pressured to drink. In addition to supporting your sobriety, everyone who attends is more likely to wake up alert and well-rested the next morning.
At FHE, We Care About Your Sobriety
Having fun while staying sober throughout the holidays isn’t easy, and it’s okay to grieve the lifestyle you’ve left behind. Parties might not be as wild and unpredictable as they once were, but now that you’re sober, they’re an opportunity to connect with your friends and family on a deeper level.
If you need support this holiday season, you can always contact the team at FHE Health. Our lines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
