For some people, they know. They know they want to be sober more than anything else in the world and they will do anything they need to make sure that happens. But what if you don’t feel entirely ready? What if your head still tells you that you want to get high or drunk? What if you don’t want to be sober 100%? Does that mean you can’t get sober? Not necessarily. See the thing is, sobriety doesn’t require that you be 100% sure about anything. As long as you want to want to be sober and are willing to take the action, that is all that matters.
Here are three important things to consider to help you get through the difficult concept of trying to get sober when you aren’t sure you want to.
1. Forget Your Head
Your mind is programmed to want to get high or drunk. It is going to tell you that you don’t want to get sober. Don’t listen to your head. As much as we identify with our minds and think that we have to do what our heads tell us to do, our minds really don’t have to have much control at all. Your feelings and thoughts don’t HAVE to dictate your actions. I was told this cool thing when I was first getting sober, Fu** your feelings before they fu** you. Basically meaning that your feelings and thoughts are going to tell you lies, so say forget it to them. They don’t have to dictate you. The way you get sober regardless of your feelings and mind is you take the action necessary no matter what. No matter what your head is saying or how you are feeling you suit up and show up. As long as you are moving your feet in the right direction your head can talk all it wants. And soon enough your mind will catch up with your actions and so will your feelings.
2. Willingness, Open Mindedness, Honesty
These are the three things that are indispensable. Not the want to be sober. As long as you want to WANT to be sober I believe you can make a start. And as long as you are capable of being willing to take the action, have an open mind to the ideas, and actions, and are honest with yourself and the people around with you about where you are at with all of it, you can and will get sober. See sobriety isn’t this thing that requires you be at point B so you can get to point C. You can be at point A and still get to point C. You just have to keep taking the action and hang onto these three things. The want to get sober will come if you keep these three things with you, and take the action along with them.
3. The Only Requirement is a Desire to Stop Using or Drinking
The requirements don’t say that you have to know without a doubt that this is what you want. As long as you have that little bit of desire to stop, to want to be sober, to want to want to be sober you can start this journey. Sometimes are minds are slower to catch up to what is healthy for us and this is because of our disease. Your disease will tell you that you don’t want to be sober. But that isn’t true. Because if you even have a little piece of you that wants to WANT to be sober you can eventually get sober, stay sober and know for sure sobriety is what you want. Not being sure if you want to be sober does not disqualify you from getting this. As long as you have the smallest desire to stop and have, then begin taking action all will workout. Follow your feet. Let your smallest desire to stop or want to want to stop dictate what you do—don’t let that one thought control your actions. If you do that, you will see the same results as someone who wants this 100%.
Sobriety is not this for sure, 100%, black and white kind of thing. We all have to start somewhere and sometimes it isn’t on sure footing. That is ok. The footing and the “right” thoughts if you will, will come with time. All of it will come with the action. Let the action say what you want not your mind or your feelings. Carry on. Keep going. Forget your feelings, forget what your head is telling you and just do what is necessary and you will get sober.