Marriage can be difficult for many reasons, but mental health challenges can add to that difficulty. If you or your partner has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it doesn’t mean your relationship has to suffer, though. Keep reading to learn some healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with PTSD in a marriage.
How PTSD Affects Intimacy, Communication and Trust
PTSD is a serious mental health condition that impacts about 5% of the U.S. population each year. Living with someone with PTSD can cause difficulties. As a partner, you want to provide adequate support to your loved one. And if you’re the one with PTSD, you may struggle to be the supportive marriage partner you know you should be.
Gaining an understanding of how PTSD can impact a relationship in terms of intimacy, communication and trust is a good place to start.
Intimacy Issues
PTSD can make it difficult to relax and connect, essential for intimacy in a marriage. It can be helpful to talk about your concerns and try to reset your expectations regarding intimacy.
If your partner has PTSD, try to have an open conversation about their comfort level. Being open about their boundaries may help the frequency and level of intimacy increase over time.
If you’re living with PTSD, don’t force yourself to engage in intimacy beyond your comfort level out of guilt or feelings of inadequacy. Share this with your loved one so they don’t take your limitations as rejection.
Communication Breakdowns
When someone has PTSD, they may experience emotional numbing, avoidance and disassociation. All of these can cause a breakdown in communication.
If your partner has PTSD, try to keep the lines open and note how and when they prefer to communicate. If you’re the partner living with PTSD, be aware of your limitations and make a point of communicating with your loved one when you feel calm and clearheaded.
Trust Issues
Trauma can leave a person feeling mistrust, danger and betrayal. Often, these feelings can be directed toward the wrong individuals, such as loving partners. It may take time to rebuild trust with your partner.
If your partner has PTSD, remind yourself that the mistrust isn’t about you, it’s about their trauma. Show up and continue to be a loving, loyal and devoted partner in your marriage. If you have PTSD, consider working through trust issues in therapy to ensure you don’t misdirect the feelings toward your partner.
Common Relationship Challenges When One Partner Has PTSD in a Marriage
PTSD-related communication, trust and intimacy issues can lead to other challenges in a marriage, such as:
- Lowered relationship satisfaction. A relationship full of conflict and issues can become unfulfilling. This is especially true if PTSD developed during the relationship. Then the unaffected partner can remember — and compare — how the relationship felt before the trauma happened.
- Evolving partner identities. It’s natural for people to change and grow over time. However, PTSD can result in dramatic, rapid changes in a person’s personality.
- Increased risk of separation. The various challenges PTSD introduces into a relationship significantly increase the risk of separation. Maintaining a successful relationship often depends on the unaffected partner being supportive and understanding and the affected partner working to improve their condition.
Supporting a Spouse Without Becoming a Caregiver
While supporting and helping your partner with PTSD, you should avoid becoming a caregiver or parental figure. Taking on this role can create anger, confusion and resentment and cause romantic feelings to dissipate. It can also lead to burnout if you’re continuously providing care without any breaks.
Here’s how you can provide support to your partner without sacrificing your own mental health:
Establish Clear Boundaries
Set clear boundaries for yourself and your partner. Define what you’re willing to do to help them and where you draw the line for your own well-being. If they have violent flashbacks or outbursts that intimidate you, make it clear you’ll walk away during these times for your own protection.
Maintain Empathy and Patience
PTSD is an emotionally challenging condition, so your partner needs empathy and patience as they process things. Educating yourself about it is the best way to ensure you remain understanding. It’s much easier to be patient when you have a deeper grasp of what they’re going through.
Demand Progress
It can be hard to maintain empathy if your loved one doesn’t seem to be addressing their condition. With the right treatment plan, PTSD symptoms may lessen or even resolve over time. Encourage your partner to seek therapy and commit to improving their overall well-being.
Prioritize Self-Care
Although your partner needs help, don’t become so focused on their needs that you stop caring for yourself. Make sure you prioritize self-care so your mental health doesn’t suffer. Consider doing the following:
- Working out
- Going for outdoor walks
- Meditating
- Journaling
- Practicing yoga
- Attending therapy sessions
Watch for Signs of Burnout
Be aware of the signs of burnout in yourself. These may include:
- Anxiety
- Chronic fatigue
- Depression
- Dramatic changes in appetite
- Dramatic changes in sleep patterns
- Emotional numbness
- Feelings of helplessness
- Frequent headaches
- Weakened immune system
If you’re experiencing burnout from caring for your partner, it’s a sign that something in your dynamic needs to change. Reevaluate how you’re approaching the relationship and see where you can take a step back in caretaking activities.
How Couples Therapy Can Help You Build a Stronger Relationship Through Shared Healing
Couples therapy offers a way to navigate the difficulties PTSD can bring to a marriage. A therapist can teach you both coping mechanisms and help you build a stronger relationship through shared healing. With therapy, you can learn to:
- Navigate your (or your partner’s) PTSD condition
- Adapt to the changes in your relationship
- Better see each other’s perspectives
- Strengthen communication skills
- Work through trust and intimacy issues
You don’t have to wait until your home life deteriorates to seek professional help. Couples therapy can help you stay on track so your relationship dynamic doesn’t become unmanageable.
Mental Health Treatment and Support at FHE Health
Whether you need PTSD treatment or couples therapy, FHE Health can help. We’re Florida’s top mental health treatment facility, offering comprehensive health care for all. Our licensed, experienced therapists can help you get back to feeling like yourself again. Contact us today to learn more.
