Living with Someone Who Has PTSD – What to Know

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, develops after an individual experiences a traumatic event. Recent research Indicates PTSD is becoming increasingly common. According to the National Center for PTSD, 60% of Americans will experience the disorder during their lifetimes. Living with PTSD can affect the person’s mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. As a result, supporting someone with PTSD can also be challenging, significantly impacting your relationship and family life. Learning about this psychiatric disorder and identifying effective strategies to support your loved one can help. Follow these tips to support your partner who’s living with PTSD.

PTSD: A Growing Concern

PTSD is a common diagnosis that can occur in anyone’s life. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD affects approximately 3.5% of U.S. adults every year.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, PTSD can interfere with everyday life. One in three people who experience trauma will face PTSD symptoms. These individuals might avoid situations that trigger memories of the traumatic event. Individuals with PTSD have intense thoughts and feelings related to an experience that caused them trauma. They may relive the event through flashbacks or nightmares.

People with PTSD might also lose interest in activities or hobbies they once enjoyed. They might withdraw socially, avoiding interactions with family and friends. These thoughts and feelings often cause intense sadness, fear, anger, depression or feelings of detachment from others.

Some common causes of PTSD include a physical or sexual assault, serious accidents, abuse, torture, war and conflict, as well as traumatic events such as natural disasters, terrorist attacks or losing a baby during childbirth.

Discover effective strategies for supporting your partner living with PTSD.

Don’t Jump to Conclusions

You suspect your partner has PTSD but not know how to help them. First, leave the diagnosis up to the medical professionals. However, you can broach the subject and ask if your loved one has a condition or is seeing a therapist.

If they’re not currently in treatment, consider whether they’re displaying PTSD symptoms. Symptoms vary significantly for PTSD, but some of the common signs include:

• Flashbacks or nightmares
• Avoidance of certain situations or people
• Emotional numbing
• Hyperarousal (irritability, outbursts)
• Insomnia

If you recognize these symptoms in your partner, ask yourself if you’re aware of a traumatic experience in their life within the last couple of months. If no events come to mind, you can try to have an open and nonjudgmental conversation with them using the tips below.

Use Effective Communication Strategies

Individuals with PTSD may be less likely to open up and share their feelings. So, as their support person, you should rely on effective strategies to improve communication and offer your support. The National Center for PTSD recommends asking your partner to express their feelings to help them work through them. Prompts such as “Are you feeling angry?” can help them open up. You can follow that question with another helpful one — “How can I help?” — to show your support.

Being a good listener is also important if you’re coping with a partner with PTSD. Let your partner lead conversations, and avoid interrupting. You can show you’re listening by repeating what they’ve said in your own words and asking relevant questions when it makes sense to do so. Remember that part of processing the traumatic event is talking about it, so you’ll need to be a good listener to help your loved one get through the trauma they experienced.

Stay Connected When Living With PTSD

Staying connected to your loved one with PTSD is especially important. Rather than forcing social interaction or expecting them to talk when they don’t want to, let your loved one guide your social life. For example, perhaps attending a party with friends feels too overwhelming, but you can enjoy a quiet night at home together.

Encourage your loved one to connect through activities they used to enjoy. Look for opportunities to connect in a safe environment that makes your loved one feel comfortable. For instance, you might go on long walks together or learn a new skill to encourage socialization.

Finally, work on gradually expanding your loved one’s support network so they can reconnect. Encourage interactions with family and close friends, even if it’s a quick phone call or text. Hearing words of support and encouragement from these people allows your partner to know they’re loved.

What Support Does Someone With PTSD Need?

If your partner receives a PTSD diagnosis, it’s important to understand effective strategies for supporting someone with PTSD. This condition isn’t a life sentence, and many individuals can overcome PTSD. However, it takes time, effort and support from loved ones.

1. Educate yourself on PTSD. By understanding the condition, you’ll have more empathy and understanding about what your partner is going through.
2. Don’t pressure them into talking. A lot of PTSD is reliving a traumatic event. You don’t want to re-traumatize them by pressuring them to talk all the time. Allow your partner to open up when they want to.
3. Do normal activities with your partner. Another side effect of PTSD is wanting to shut off from the world and feeling depressed. Try to find normal activities for you and your partner to do. Make sure these activities are entirely unrelated to their traumatic experience. Participating in a regular routine will help them feel in control of their environment once more.
4. Manage your own stress. If you can be calm and relaxed, it will significantly help your partner stay calm.
5. Be patient. Recovery from PTSD can take time, and you should expect setbacks. Your loved one has been through a lot, and they’re doing their best to get better. You can provide emotional support as your loved one navigates this difficult time. Listen, be patient and offer encouragement through difficult times.
6. Encourage continued treatment. Your partner has the best chance of recovery if they seek professional help for their condition. Try to encourage and normalize them seeking treatment without being overbearing or checking that they’re attending sessions.
7. Understand their triggers. Certain situations may trigger PTSD symptoms, reminding your loved one of the traumatic event. Navigate these challenging times together by taking note of common triggers for your loved one. Seek out situations that avoid these triggers to minimize negative symptoms. For example, if you know their trauma is tied to hospitals, you can avoid driving by hospitals. Small efforts like this can make a significant impact.
8. Expect emotional swings. Individuals with PTSD can be prone to significant emotional swings, such as outbursts or periods of depression. Know that this will happen and be prepared to handle them as they occur.

Encourage Professional Treatment When Necessary

Working with a mental health professional can support a person living with PTSD and help manage how their PTSD affects your relationship. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, helps individuals discuss their symptoms, identify their triggers and learn how to manage them. If your loved one is struggling, encourage them to connect with a mental health professional for help. Therapy, medication or a combination of the two can help them manage their PTSD and improve their outlook.

Find Support for Someone Living With PTSD

If the symptoms of your loved one’s PTSD are difficult to manage, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Partner with an experienced mental health professional to find the support your loved one needs. Contact our experienced team of counselors to learn about our programs for individuals living with PTSD. We’re here to help, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.