Article overview: With male loneliness becoming increasingly common, here’s a look at the statistics and advice on building positive male friendships.
Some men may ask, “Why is friendship important? I don’t need friends.” And yet, these men may struggle with feelings of loss, depression and isolation that make it difficult for them to function. Unfortunately, male loneliness is a growing issue that makes many people wonder, “Why do so many men have no real friends?” Fortunately, reconnecting with others can help men appreciate male friendships and enjoy socializing again.
How Many Men Have Male Friendships?
Men and women experience similar rates of loneliness, but women are much more likely to reach out to their social networks for help. Research shows that 54% of women talk to their friends when they’re struggling, while only 38% of men reach out. Similarly, 44% of women talk to family members compared to only 26% of men.
The same study also revealed that, while men and women are equally likely to have at least one close friend, women stay in touch more often. This lack of communication could make men feel even more isolated.
Overall, this research suggests that male friendships are less common than female friendships. Societal expectations and traditional masculine roles sometimes discourage men from seeking emotional support outside their romantic relationships or families. The friendship slump can sneak up on men, with many not even realizing how their social circle has shrunk. However, a lack of close friendships seriously affects an individual’s emotional and mental health.
Effects on Mental Well-Being
Strong social connections may reduce stress levels and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Close friends can create a safe space for emotional sharing. When those connections are missing, men can feel isolated, which can increase the risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression. They could even suffer from suicidal thoughts during long periods of isolation.
Worryingly, social isolation has been linked to an increased risk of health issues, such as heart disease, diabetes, dementia and even a shorter lifespan. Having close friends to rely on can help reduce these risks by providing emotional support, encouraging healthy habits and offering a sense of belonging.
Why Forming New Friendships Is More Difficult for Adults
Due to their environments, making friends tends to happen organically for children, teens and young adults. Schools, sports teams, clubs and other structured activities create consistent opportunities to meet peers and form bonds. Young people are typically more open to forming new connections while exploring their identities.
Making friends as an adult is more challenging. Reasons for this male friendship recession are often logistical, psychological and even social:
- Time constraints. As men take on more responsibilities, particularly in their careers and families, they have less free time to socialize or engage in hobbies.
- Fewer social opportunities. Environments where friendships were once formed, such as school or sports, become less accessible as people age, making it more difficult to meet and meaningfully connect with others.
- Life transitions. Major life events, such as moving to a different city, changing jobs or getting married, often disrupt existing friendships and make it more difficult to start new ones. It gets even more complicated after having children, as the demands of parenthood can leave little time for socializing.
- Fear of rejection. Approaching new friendships as an adult can feel intimidating. Men may worry about rejection or not finding someone they click with, so they avoid trying.
- Social norms. Cultural expectations often discourage men from showing emotion or being vulnerable. Some men may feel uncomfortable discussing personal topics with new people, which can prevent them from developing more profound connections.
- Loss of common ground. As men go through different life stages, their interests and routines may change, making it more difficult to find activities to connect over.
- Technology. Despite the name, social media “friendships” are often superficial and a poor substitute for meaningful connections.
Increase in Workplace Connections
As adult life gets busier, some men fill the social gap with the connections they make at their place of employment. The office is where 42% of Americans report meeting their closest friends. These friendships offer companionship and a shared understanding of the environment. Having a friend at work can make day-to-day tasks less tedious and provide a support system.
However, balancing these relationships’ professional and personal aspects can be tricky. Boundaries blur, and situations such as disagreements over work projects, promotions or differing levels of authority create tension. Workplace friendships tend to be more circumstantial. Colleagues often drift apart when one of them changes jobs or departments.
Tips for Rebuilding and Maintaining Friendships
Friendship is vital for well-being, and while the friendship slump in men is real, it doesn’t have to be permanent. If you find meeting people and maintaining social connections difficult, consulting a mental health professional could help. A therapist can guide you toward identifying any underlying issues holding you back. By offering strategies for overcoming self-doubt or negative thoughts, your therapist can teach practical skills to enhance your social interactions.
Maintaining close friendships as an adult may be difficult, but it’s far from impossible. Like most life challenges, finding and staying in touch with trustworthy people can happen when you become intentional about it.
- Reach out. Friendships won’t happen unless you make the effort. Reach out to an old friend, or take the initiative to plan activities with people you meet daily.
- Prioritize quality over quantity. Instead of trying to expand a large social circle, focus on fostering meaningful relationships. A smaller, tighter-knit group can provide the emotional support you need.
- Be open. You don’t have to bare your soul to every person you befriend, but don’t be afraid to occasionally share your thoughts and feelings with trustworthy people, even if it initially feels uncomfortable.
- Find shared activities. Look for local or online groups based on your interests, whether it’s a fitness club or a volunteer organization. Hobbies, sports and community events can provide opportunities to meet new people with similar interests.
- Make time for friends. If time is a constraint, block out space on your calendar for catch-ups or activities. Regular interaction, even just a quick meeting over coffee, strengthens bonds.
Prioritize Your Mental Well-Being
At FHE Health, we understand the impact of social isolation and can help you take steps toward a more fulfilling life. Contact us today; someone is here 24-7, ready to listen.
