Sometimes, feelings of shame or guilt make it difficult for people to seek substance abuse treatment. However, with 2.3 million people getting help for alcohol use disorder in 2023, you’re far from the only person attending rehab. Empathy in recovery encourages you to seek help without drowning your issues in guilt or judgment, turning a difficult decision into a positive experience.
Why Empathy Matters in the Recovery Process
While many people use the words “sympathy” and “empathy” interchangeably, they actually have different meanings. Sympathy involves feeling sorry for someone without truly understanding what they’re going through. Conversely, empathy allows you to understand and relate to their situation, providing a valuable perspective for both parties.
A sympathetic friend might feel sorry for you in recovery but not know what to say. They might even make questionable statements, such as “Why can’t you just snap out of it already?” However, an empathetic friend can provide a listening ear, offer great advice and discuss their similar experiences. You might learn from their struggles and apply their coping skills to your own life.
Empathy and addiction aren’t just about helping others. You’ll also show yourself empathy by remaining calm, objective and nonjudgmental instead of letting negative thoughts take over. This allows you to get the most out of therapy and walk away with a fresh mindset.
How Empathy Strengthens Relationships and Support Systems
Empathy in recovery is essential for maintaining a strong support system. Nobody wants to feel like their friends are judging them. When you have compassion for addiction, you can listen to your friends’ stories, offer advice, celebrate their successes and build lasting relationships — and they’ll do the same for you. Facing life’s challenges becomes easier when you don’t have to do it alone.
Another benefit of empathy is the ability to learn from others. It’s easy to think “I’d never make that kind of mistake” until you’ve talked to people who’ve been in that situation. Once you understand what led them to that point, you can have compassion for people in their darkest hours and potentially talk them out of making bad decisions, such as relapsing or attempting suicide.
Practicing Empathy Toward Yourself During Recovery
Compassion for addiction won’t help you much unless you apply the same principles to yourself. Some statements to keep in mind include:
- You’re not a bad person for needing help.
- You deserve to live a healthy, sober life.
- Your needs and wants are important.
- Your past isn’t to blame, but it heavily influenced your decisions.
- Your desire to recover shows that you care about your loved ones.
If you struggle to adopt this thought pattern, ask yourself what you’d tell a friend who was in your situation. Afterward, remember that they’d probably want you to show yourself the same understanding.
Building Empathy Skills in Group and Family Therapy
Feeling empathy in recovery can be difficult if you grew up in an environment that discouraged or even punished compassion. Fortunately, group therapy offers the perfect opportunity to hear other people’s stories and learn about different perspectives. As you listen without judgment, you’ll start to understand other mindsets and even offer helpful advice.
Family therapy helps your loved ones recover and learn from each other. You’ll discuss your issues in a controlled environment with a therapist present, allowing everyone to speak their mind without things getting heated. These discussions can help you have more patience and understanding for each other.
Overcoming Barriers to Empathy in Addiction Recovery
“Tough love” is one of the biggest barriers to empathy in recovery. Throughout your journey, you might hear dismissive statements, such as “Suck it up,” “Get over it already” or “I had to cope with my problems without any help, so why can’t you?” In their misguided way, people think they’re helping you move on with your life.
Unfortunately, shoving down your problems will only make it harder to cope in the long run. When someone criticizes you for seeking help, remember these facts:
- Everyone recovers at their own pace.
- No treatment method works for everyone.
- You’re entitled to receive care in a comfortable environment.
- Judgment only makes it harder for people to receive help.
- You’re trying to improve yourself, and that’s what matters.
If you feel comfortable doing so, try challenging their judgmental statements. Otherwise, feel free to remove yourself from the situation. Changing people’s minds can be nice, but ultimately, it’s not your responsibility.
In the meantime, surround yourself with loved ones who want you to succeed. They won’t enable your substance use disorder, but they’ll show patience during recovery and help you out if you relapse. Talking to other people in recovery can be helpful because they know exactly what you’re going through.
It’s also important to show empathy toward yourself and others. Instead of beating yourself up for ending up in rehab or criticizing your fellow residents, remind yourself that you’re all making the right decision. You can’t change the past, but you can move forward and start a new life.
How Empathy Supports Long-Term Sobriety
When you leave your inpatient program, it might be tempting to think you have to stay sober at all costs, even if it means internally criticizing yourself for having cravings or missing your old friend group. However, these “all or nothing” thoughts could actually increase the likelihood of a relapse.
Having compassion for addiction means accepting that nobody’s perfect. In fact, 90% of people with alcohol use disorder relapse at least once. This doesn’t mean relapsing is inevitable, but it’s easier to stay sober when you accept that you have a disease instead of frantically pushing down the urges. Instead of bullying yourself, you can acknowledge the cravings and utilize your coping skills.
Empathy also builds your self-esteem, which makes you less likely to relapse. When you have confidence in yourself, you’ll be able to tackle problems head-on and lean on your social network when you suspect a relapse is near. Loving yourself makes you realize you deserve a better life.
Learn About Empathy in Recovery
If you’re seeking treatment for substance use disorder or want to help a loved one in recovery, reach out to FHE Health to learn more about our services. These include individual and group therapy, art therapy, medication management, EEG brain mapping, breathwork therapy and acupuncture. We customize our programs for each client to maximize their chances of success.
