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The AA approach to recovery has been going strong in the United States, and even worldwide, since it was conceived in 1935. The 12-step program has grown into a global culture, with institutions and traditions all its own. One of these is the Serenity Prayer, which is a mantra that’s gone through several versions since Reinhold Niebuhr drafted the original in 1950. More than 2 million people in 180 countries currently participate in AA, so it’s not surprising that the prayer has proliferated worldwide. Given its impact, it’s worth knowing more about one of the world’s most influential prayers.
Introduction to the Serenity Prayer
There are enough versions of the Serenity Prayer that it’s easy to get lost studying its message. According to Niebuhr’s daughter, the original version of the prayer her father drafted in 1950 ran like this:
“O God and Heavenly Father,
Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.”
The direct appeal to Christian faith is unsurprising from Niebuhr, who was a Christian theologian first and foremost. As AA grew and spread among people of more diverse faith traditions, the sectarian language fell out of the most widely circulated versions. A less denominational prayer worked its way into the AA canon until it found its current form, which this article will use:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Understanding the meaning of the Serenity Prayer is crucial to getting inside the culture and mindset of the international AA movement and to finding mindfulness in serenity, experiencing personal growth through prayer and coping with life challenges without drugs and alcohol.
Serenity: Accepting What Cannot Be Changed
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. . .”
The Serenity Prayer opens with a powerful start. In the original version, God was specifically the Christian God, more specifically in the Protestant tradition. The continued growth of AA has demanded a more ecumenical approach, and members today are asked only to accept a Higher Power, which can be any guiding force, including the original AA concept of God.
The first line of this prayer asks God for serenity to resist the emotional turmoil that so often travels with addiction disorders. The difficult early days of sober living can feel like a storm to continuously fight against. Much of the wisdom in the Serenity Prayer is in how quickly its words set the mood for calm and rest.
Deconstructing the Serenity Prayer’s first line further, it goes on to invoke the concept of things that can’t be changed. This is a wise inclusion because recovery is so often a process of letting go of the uncontrolled trouble in a recovering addict’s life. The past may be full of regrets, but it can’t be changed. Neither can the current feelings of formerly close friends and loved ones whose relationships have been strained by a person’s struggles with addiction. Acknowledging that some things are beyond changing, at least for the moment, and learning to let go is part of the acceptance and courage it takes to succeed in recovery.
Courage: Taking Action Where Possible
“courage to change the things I can. . .”
Change is hard, and the Serenity Prayer acknowledges this. The decision to get clean is the first constructive choice many addicts have made in years. Every person grappling with a substance abuse disorder has felt the suffocating thought of going without their drug or alcohol support, and the emotional state most closely associated with this is fear. Courage is the antidote to fear, which is why the virtue has such a prominent place in the prayer.
The concept of change appears here for the second time. In the first verse, the prayer asked for serenity in the face of unchangeable problems. This is a passive approach that encourages inaction — or at least a lack of suffering caused by the inability to alter the outside world. The focus in the second line suddenly shifts to an active role. Changing things about your own addiction certainly is possible, and the spiritual wisdom in this prayer is to identify the agency it takes to go from passively suffering the unavoidable to the bold step of asking for help.
It’s significant here that the first step in the AA program is to acknowledge that the individual is in the grip of a disease that won’t let go without help and that the addict has been unable to change things for the better so far. At this stage, the courage needed is the courage to resist the urge to continue using, and in later stages of recovery, the major discovery is how much of the process depends on your own decision to break free.
Wisdom: Discerning Between the Two
“. . . and wisdom to know the difference.”
Praying for wisdom is one of the oldest traditions in the Abrahamic religions. King Solomon asked for wisdom above all things, and he was rewarded for it. Any Serenity Prayer analysis has to linger over this closing line for a bit, as it turns the process of taking ownership all the way around. Gone now is the passive acceptance of things unchangeable, and even the active role of altering a person’s material condition from the second verse. Here, the person in recovery has asked for the wisdom to make sound judgments.
Applying the Serenity Prayer in Daily Life
Sound judgment is sorely missing for most users in the throes of addiction. In a sense, therefore, the Serenity Prayer is a small version of the 12-step journey itself. The addict starts as a person acted upon by things unseen and unalterable, seeking only fortitude. They move through the actor phase of making positive change, and in the end, they earn the role of a decider, to exercise newly restored wisdom and common sense to stay sober for life.
