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Life’s journey is filled with highs and lows. At times, bad endings to events or relationships may push you toward seeking closure. Whether it’s the end of a close friendship, the termination of a romantic relationship or the loss of a loved one, finding closure, in some cases, is a step toward healing.
This article looks into what closure is, why it’s important for your mental health and steps you can take to find closure. Read on for insights that may help you move forward.
What Is Closure?
Closure is a feeling of finality or resolution that people seek after an event or a relationship comes to an end. When we talk about needing closure, it means we’re looking for answers to unresolved matters holding us back, preventing us from moving forward until they’re dealt with.
Think of seeing a picture where part is missing. Your mind wants to fill that in to see the complete image. Similarly, people need their relationships to feel whole — a story with a start, a middle and an end.
When a relationship ends unexpectedly, your brain works hard to understand the whole story, including the end. This process of seeking emotional closure is a way of making sense of the past, which in some cases helps you heal and look ahead.
Importance of Closure in Mental Health
People feel a strong need for closure and often look for it right away. Understanding why people seek this sense of resolution is key to comprehending its role in mental health.
Closure is important because:
- It helps emotional healing, making it possible to move past a significant life event or relationship.
- It enables the processing of emotions, helping a person understand and work through their feelings.
- It makes letting go easier, allowing the release of any remaining attachment or negative emotions related to an experience or person.
While seeking closure can be beneficial after a relationship ends, achieving closure isn’t always possible. Trying to find closure might bring up or increase insecurities, and in some cases, it might lead to the development of new ones, so approach seeking closure with caution.
Types of Closure
Knowing you need closure often comes from feeling stuck or carrying heavy emotions about a past event. If thoughts of what happened keep returning and you have difficulty focusing on the present or looking forward to the future, it might be time to seek closure. Types of closure include:
- Personal closure. This type of closure is something you give yourself. It involves self-reflection, accepting what happened and deciding to move forward.
- Mutual closure. This happens when all the people involved come together, discuss what occurred and express their feelings. Everyone agrees to close the chapter and move on.
- Expert-guided closure. Sometimes talking to a professional, such as a therapist, helps. They can guide you through your feelings and thoughts, helping you find closure from complicated situations.
Each type of closure serves different needs and situations. Identifying which type you require is the first step toward achieving closure and moving forward.
Achieving Closure: Strategies and Techniques
Sometimes, closure might seem out of reach, such as when someone dies or the other person doesn’t want to talk. When direct closure isn’t possible, you can still take steps to mend the emotional gap you’re feeling. Some methods to help you find peace include:
Journaling
Writing about your feelings and experiences can be a powerful way to process them. By putting words to paper, you might uncover feelings you didn’t realize you had. Journaling offers a form of self-expression that can lead to insights and, eventually, closure.
Using the ‘Why?’ Technique
By asking “Why?” five times, you peel back the layers of your feelings, getting closer to the core of your hurt with each question. This technique can uncover the root cause of your pain, helping you understand and address it directly.
Writing a Letter
Writing a letter to the person you seek closure with — even if you never send it — allows you to express all your thoughts and feelings. This act can be a relieving way to reveal everything you wish you’d had the chance to say.
Finding Gratitude
Look for things in your life that you’re grateful for. Focusing on gratitude can shift your mindset from what you’ve lost to what you still have. Recognizing the good in your life can slowly fill the void left by the situation you’re trying to move past.
Detoxing From Social Media
Taking a break from social media can help you avoid comparing your healing process to others’ experiences. Research indicates that reducing social media use by nearly 78% enhances life satisfaction, lowers stress levels and provides an improved sense of well-being. This break could be exactly what you need to help you move forward.
Letting Go and Moving Forward
People seek emotional closure because they want their heartache, sense of loss and sadness to stop. But feelings and thoughts don’t easily go away and disappear.
At times, the only path forward is to accept things as they are and push through. This process may be challenging and require patience, but it’s within reach. You’re worthy of happiness, and sometimes moving on is the healthiest choice, even more so than finding closure.
Seeking Support and Closure
Everyone handles the need for closure differently. For some, the lack of closure is deeply unsettling, making moving on difficult. Meanwhile, others push forward, even if unanswered questions linger in their minds.
If you struggle to find peace without closure, you’re not alone. The support you need is available. Reliable friends, family members or a professional therapist can offer the judgment-free support and understanding you need to work through your feelings.
A skilled therapist can guide you through these emotions, helping you understand that holding onto bitterness and negativity harms you just as much, if not more than, the event that caused them. No one deserves to carry such burdens.
Need Help Seeking Closure? We’re Here to Listen
If finding closure is difficult for you or your loved one, our team is ready to listen. Reach out and a caring mental health expert from FHE Health will guide you toward a more peaceful state of mind. We understand what you’re going through and want to help you start your journey to feeling better.
