For decades, little boys have grown up being told limiting beliefs about what it means to be a man. Boys and men often hear they shouldn’t cry or share their feelings and that being emotionless is equivalent to being “tough” and “male.” These toxic pressures surrounding manhood have many negative impacts on men, including making them too scared to ask for help when they struggle with their mental health. The good news is that things seem to be taking a turn, and younger society members are redefining masculinity.
Breaking Stereotypes: Redefining Masculinity and Emotion
From an early age, boys learn harmful stereotypes about what it means to be a real man. These beliefs are now referred to as toxic masculinity. Some of these stereotypes include that men should:
- Desire to seek power over others
- Want to dominate other men
- Participate in the subjugation of women
- Have a high libido and be sexually aggressive
- Display aggression and participate in violence
- Hide their emotions, even from loved ones
- Avoid crying
- Be self-sufficient and never ask for help from others
- Fall into traditional gender roles and, as a result, earn more income than their partner and avoid doing household tasks, such as cleaning and cooking
- Be physically fit and strong
- Avoid showing they’re afraid
Of course, this list of expectations isn’t only unreasonable for any human but also limiting. Men who subscribe to these beliefs often ignore their mental health struggles and can’t allow themselves to fully feel, share themselves wholly with their loved ones, and enjoy life to the fullest.
But there are even more dire consequences. Toxic masculinity significantly impacts male mental health. These statistics highlight just how damaging rigid beliefs surrounding what it means to be a man can have on a person:
- Women are at a higher risk of developing depression, yet men are more at risk for suicide. In 2022, compared to American women, men died by suicide 3.85 times more often. This is because when men are suffering from depression, they don’t get the diagnosis and help they need.
- Suicide is the second most common cause of death for men under the age of 45.
- One in 10 men will develop anxiety or depression, but less than half will seek treatment for their condition.
- Men are more likely to turn to substance abuse as a coping mechanism compared to women. This is partially because they don’t feel as comfortable seeking professional mental health help.
These shocking statistics give just a bit of insight into how dangerous these harsh expectations for men can be.
Benefits of Vulnerability for Mental Health and Relationships
The good news is that perceptions have changed in recent years. Younger generations are challenging toxic masculinity and embracing emotional masculinity. The new dialogue doesn’t distinguish between masculine emotions and feminine emotions. There are just emotions and everyone can — and does — feel all of them.
This transition to a more positive, open understanding of what it means to be a man can have enormous benefits for boys and men everywhere, including:
- Seeking help is easier. When men are taught that having emotions is okay, they feel more comfortable seeking therapy when they feel something is wrong. Counseling is crucial for self-growth, treatment of mental health conditions, and reducing the risk of suicide, substance abuse, and other issues.
- Relationships are stronger. You develop the closest bonds with loved ones when you can be authentic with them. By opening up and learning to be vulnerable with others, men create stronger relationships with their partners, kids, friends, and family members.
- Less violence and aggression occur. If boys can reject the toxic masculinity beliefs around embracing aggression as an inherently male trait, it can help reduce instances of violence later in life.
- Emotional well-being is improved. When men reject toxic masculinity, they can acknowledge a wider range of emotions and develop emotional intelligence.
- Personal growth occurs. When men are honest with themselves about how they feel, they open themselves up to personal growth and enlightenment.
- Health improves. Suppressing emotions can negatively affect a person’s physical and mental health, resulting in side effects such as stomach issues, headaches, tiredness, and muscle tension.
How Men Can Practice Healthy Emotional Expression
An evident shift in expectations for males in society today has already occurred. Men are starting to feel more comfortable talking about their feelings, indulging their “feminine” side by painting their nails, wearing gender-fluid clothing, and taking active roles in chores at home. One of the clearest examples of this is how men today embrace fatherhood. Fathers today spend more than triple the time with their children daily compared to dads in the 1970s.
But many men still have a long way to go. It takes time to undo the years of harmful beliefs about what it means to be a man that have been ingrained in a person since they were young. The best thing any man can do is to challenge toxic masculinity thoughts when they happen.
As a man, steps you can take to practice vulnerability and emotional masculinity in your daily life include:
- Be honest about what you’re feeling.
- Share your thoughts and feelings with those around you.
- Embrace therapeutic hobbies that allow you to think about your emotions. Some examples include walking outdoors, journaling and meditating.
- Go to counseling.
- Learn more about the benefits of emotional intelligence.
- Form friendships with like-minded people who embrace emotional vulnerability.
- Talk to friends and family about your desire to become more emotionally open.
- Challenge toxic masculinity beliefs when you hear others say them.
The Role of Friends and Family
Breaking down toxic masculinity doesn’t just start and end with the individual. Everyone plays a role in making a change. Friends and family of men need to recognize when toxic stereotypes arise and do their best to dismiss these beliefs.
Every time a loved one challenges a harmful male stereotype, it shows every man in the room they’re supported in choosing to embrace emotional masculinity instead.
Mental Health Support at FHE Health
If you’re ready to begin embracing your emotions, consider starting with therapy. Speaking to a counselor can help you identify which toxic masculinity beliefs you’re still holding onto and learn strategies to undo this way of thinking.
FHE Health is your resource for experienced, quality mental health treatment. Contact us today to learn more about our therapists and treatment programs.
