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Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is one of those terms that’s used relatively incorrectly nowadays. Someone who prefers a neat house might quip that they have OCD, but that’s not what living with OCD is really like. Anyone who’s experienced living with an OCD partner knows it can actually be quite challenging. Obsessive-compulsive disorder can come with a lot of symptoms and complications. Luckily, there are steps you can take to make living with an OCD spouse a lot smoother.
Understanding OCD
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a chronic mental health condition in which the individual has recurring unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or behaviors (compulsions) that they feel the need to repeat. OCD is a common condition that can impact anyone at any age or from any background. It’s estimated that 2%-3% of adults in the United States have OCD.
It’s important to understand that OCD is more than just being particular. The person can’t stop their OCD thoughts or behaviors despite a negative impact on their life. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is often time-consuming, can adversely affect a person’s social life and relationships, school or work and can cause significant distress.
Some of the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are:
- Obsession symptoms, usually around a “theme” such as:
- Being clean
- Difficulty with giving up control or dealing with uncertainty
- Needing things to be orderly and symmetrical
- Aggressive thoughts about harming yourself or others
- Compulsion symptoms may look like this:
- Constant washing and cleaning
- Counting
- Following a strict routine
- Checking things repeatedly
- Keeping order
At first glance, these symptoms may not seem that harmful. But it’s essential to understand that these symptoms can intensify to the point of causing harm or distress. For example, an individual with OCD who’s hyper-fixated on cleanliness may wash their hands until they’re raw. Or an OCD person who’s constantly worried about control may have to drive to a location every day leading up to a casual get-together to ensure they know how to get there, what it looks like, etc.
The symptoms of OCD can often lead to complications in the person’s life, such as:
- Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
- Difficulties maintaining relationships with partners, friends and family
- Poor performance at work or school
- Health issues
- Excessive time spent on ritualistic behaviors
- Overall poor quality of life
- Isolation
4 Tips for Living With a Person With OCD
If you’re living with a loved one with OCD, you’ve likely witnessed the above symptoms and complications in real life. It can be frustrating dealing with these symptoms, as they’ve likely impacted both you and your partner’s ability to go through everyday tasks.
Here are four practical tips on how to deal with someone who has OCD.
1. Communicate With Empathy
When challenges come up, it can be natural to focus on yourself. You may wish your partner would just “push through” their condition and live a normal life. But imagine how difficult it is for them. Remember that obsessive-compulsive disorder is a mental health condition, not a choice. It’s likely they too often wish they could ignore their condition.
You must foster open and nonjudgmental communication to better understand and support the individual with OCD. When you’re frustrated, share your thoughts and feelings with them while being supportive. Try to put yourself in their shoes and allow them to express what they’re going through. Often, when OCD symptoms are presenting themselves, it may mean the individual is under stress. You’re both allowed to be frustrated with the situation. Communicating and talking these feelings out is better than holding them in.
2. Respect Boundaries
OCD is a chronic compulsive condition, meaning there’s a good chance your partner may never be able to get rid of all their obsessive-compulsive behaviors. They may be able to get help and reduce the intensity or frequency of some behaviors, but symptoms will sometimes appear (especially during times of distress).
Make sure you acknowledge personal boundaries and routines while avoiding enabling or reinforcing OCD behaviors. You want to give your partner the space to cope without enabling them. If your partner is going through a difficult time and you see their OCD habits flare up, that might not be the time to point it out.
However, if they seem emotionally stable and opting to engage in OCD-centric behaviors, you can talk to them about taking this backward step.
Lastly, set clear boundaries for both of you. For example, if your partner is obsessed with cleaning, you might allow them to clean. However, your boundary would be that you stick to cleaning to the level you deem adequate rather than caving in to their level of cleanliness.
Provide Practical Support
As a partner, it’s critical you offer your loved one the support they need to manage their condition. You can encourage healthy coping mechanisms and avoid reassurance-seeking behaviors.
Try doing the following:
- When it seems appropriate, challenge them to fight their compulsions.
- Offer comfort when they’re having obsessive thoughts.
- Learn about their triggers and help them avoid these triggers.
- Help them complete rituals so they let go of some control.
Educate Yourself
Lastly, an essential part of your supporting your partner with OCD is to educate yourself on their condition. As mentioned, this condition is chronic, so it likely won’t go away. Treatment can help individuals manage their symptoms so they’re less disruptive in their day-to-day life, but symptoms may always be there.
When you educate yourself, you:
- Become more understanding of what your partner is going through
- Show your partner that you care and want to learn more
- Learn tactics to support them
Learn about OCD, attend support groups and access resources to enhance understanding and provide effective support. This can even be an activity you do together if your partner hasn’t yet embraced learning more about their condition.
Maintain a Positive Outlook
Living with someone with OCD comes with its challenges, but there’s a lot you can do to help and improve the situation. Most importantly, know that obsessive-compulsive disorder is a highly treatable condition. With professional help, anyone can learn how to manage their symptoms and avoid triggers to improve their day-to-day life. Encourage your loved one to seek help so they can live their best life.
OCD Help at FHE Health
FHE Health is a fully licensed mental health treatment center specializing in giving patients personalized care that makes a difference in their health. OCD patients can get the treatment they need to manage and reduce their symptoms. Don’t let OCD control your life any longer. Contact us today to find out how we can help you.
