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Socializing, meeting peers and forging connections come naturally to children. As life gets busier in adulthood, men push friendships aside as they focus on responsibilities. The gradual distancing from close friends is part of a growing trend the Survey Center on American Life describes as a friendship recession. Learn why so many men are struggling to connect with others and how it’s affecting their mental health.
What Is the Friendship Recession in Men?
The friendship recession refers to the noticeable decline in close friendships among men, especially as they enter adulthood. In 2021, the American Perspective Survey found that men are almost half as likely as women to seek emotional support from friends. The number of close connections Americans have has sharply declined, with 12% of respondents stating they have no close friends, compared to only 3% in 1990.
While friendships are essential in people’s lives, maintaining strong social networks is more challenging for men. Societal expectations and traditional masculine roles sometimes discourage men from seeking emotional support outside their romantic relationships or families. The friendship slump can sneak up on men, with many not even realizing how their social circle has shrunk. However, a lack of close friendships seriously affects an individual’s emotional and mental health.
Effects on Mental Well-Being
Strong social connections may reduce your stress levels and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Close friends can create a safe space for emotional sharing. When those connections are missing, men can feel isolated, which can increase the risk of developing mental health conditions like depression.
Worryingly, social isolation has been linked to an increased risk of health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, dementia and even a shorter lifespan. Having close friends to rely on can help reduce these risks by providing emotional support, encouraging healthy habits and offering a sense of belonging.
Why Forming New Friendships Is Harder for Adults
Due to their environments, making friends tends to happen organically for children, teens and young adults. Schools, sports teams, clubs and other structured activities create consistent opportunities to meet peers and form bonds. Young people are typically more open to forming new connections while exploring their identities.
Making friends as an adult is more challenging. Reasons for this male friendship recession are often logistical, psychological and even social:
- Time constraints. As men take on more responsibilities, particularly in their careers and families, they have less free time to socialize or engage in hobbies.
- Fewer social opportunities. Environments where friendships were once formed, such as school or sports, become less accessible as people age, making it harder to meet and meaningfully connect with others.
- Life transitions. Major life events like moving to a different city, changing jobs or getting married often disrupt existing friendships and make it harder to start new ones. It gets even more complicated after having children, as the demands of parenthood can leave little time for socializing.
- Fear of rejection. Approaching new friendships as an adult can feel intimidating. Men may worry about rejection or not finding someone they “click” with, so they avoid trying.
- Social norms. Cultural expectations often discourage men from showing emotion or being vulnerable. Some men may feel uncomfortable discussing personal topics with new people, which can prevent them from developing more profound connections.
- Loss of common ground. As men go through different life stages, their interests and routines may change, making it harder to find activities to connect over.
- Technology. Despite the name, social media “friendships” are often superficial and a poor substitute for meaningful connections.
Increase in Workplace Connections
As adult life gets busier, some men fill the social gap with the connections they make at their employment. The office is where 42% of Americans report meeting their closest friends. These friendships offer companionship and a shared understanding of the environment. Having a friend at work can make day-to-day tasks less tedious and provide a support system.
However, balancing these relationships’ professional and personal aspects can be tricky. Boundaries blur, and situations like disagreements over work projects, promotions or differing levels of authority create tension. Workplace friendships tend to be more circumstantial. Colleagues often drift apart when one of them changes jobs or departments.
Tips for Rebuilding and Maintaining Friendships
Friendship is vital for well-being, and while the friendship slump in men is real, it doesn’t have to be permanent. If you find meeting people and maintaining social connections difficult, consulting a mental health professional could help. A therapist can guide you toward identifying any underlying issues holding you back. By offering strategies for overcoming self-doubt or negative thoughts, your therapist can teach practical skills to enhance your social interactions.
Maintaining close friendships as an adult may be difficult, but it’s far from impossible. Like most life’s challenges, finding and staying in touch with trustworthy people can happen when you become intentional about it.
- Reach out. Friendships won’t happen unless you make the effort. Reach out to an old friend, or take the initiative to plan activities with people you meet daily.
- Prioritize quality over quantity. Instead of trying to expand a large social circle, focus on fostering meaningful relationships. A smaller, tighter-knit group can provide the emotional support you need.
- Be open. You don’t have to bare your soul with every person you befriend, but don’t be afraid to occasionally share your thoughts and feelings with trustworthy people, even if it initially feels uncomfortable.
- Find shared activities. Look for local or online groups based on your interests, whether it’s a fitness club or a volunteer organization. Hobbies, sports and community events can provide opportunities to meet new people with similar interests.
- Make time for friends. If time is a constraint, block out space on your calendar for catch-ups or activities. Regular interaction, even just a quick meeting over coffee, strengthens bonds.
Prioritize Your Mental Well-Being
At FHE Health, we understand the impact of social isolation and can help you take steps towards a more fulfilling life. Contact us today; someone is here 24-7, ready to listen.
