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The trope of a man in his 40s buying a sports car or flashy motorbike as part of a midlife crisis is a common one. It’s used in sitcoms and movies as a joke about aging. But midlife crises are all too common and can be challenging for those who are trying to navigate them.
According to one study of 500,000 individuals from developed countries, people in midlife are more likely to experience extreme depression, suicidal feelings, memory problems and work-related stress. Are these signs of a midlife crisis? If so, what can be done to mitigate them, and how can people support their loved ones at this stage of their lives?
What Is a Midlife Crisis?
A midlife crisis is a period of emotional turmoil that someone experiences between the ages of 40 and 60, typically characterized by an intense desire for change. The midlife period can be a time of many life transitions, and it’s normal for people to become more aware of their mortality during this time.
Everyone copes with these feelings in different ways. Some people respond to the strong emotions they’re experiencing with extreme behavior changes or unhealthy coping strategies. Understanding the signs of a midlife crisis is the first step to addressing these challenges and finding a way to navigate aging in a healthy and joyful way.
Signs of a Midlife Crisis
There’s no strict definition of a midlife crisis. Some people show almost no visible signs of the turmoil they’re going through but may be struggling with strong emotions inside. Others respond by changing their behavior in ways that could be damaging to their relationships, careers or health.
Some common signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis are:
- Suddenly embarking on a career change
- Relocating to a new city or even country unexpectedly
- Infidelity or distancing themselves from their spouse
- Becoming religious or changing faith
- Making major changes to spending habits, such as making unusually large purchases
- Making significant changes to their appearance
- Gaining or losing weight
- Becoming obsessive about their health
- Experiencing sleep disruption
- Experiencing strong emotions (such as sadness, nostalgia, irritability)
- Feeling unfulfilled
- Becoming withdrawn from their usual routines and activities
- Reminiscing about past “better times”
A person who’s going through a midlife crisis might become fixated on a period in the past when they had fewer responsibilities or might romanticize their future retirement. They often feel disconnected from their current self and believe the life they’re leading today no longer makes sense. The behaviors they exhibit come from attempting to cope with that confusion and reconnect with their true identities.
Common Triggers for Midlife Crises
For some people, the trigger for a midlife crisis is a crisis, such as a health scare, divorce or death of a loved one. For others, there’s no such triggering event. Yale psychologist Daniel J. Levinson considered a midlife crisis to be a normal stage of life. Just as children and teenagers have developmental stages, adults also experience transitions.
A midlife crisis could be thought of as a transition. When a person retires from a demanding job and their children have left home, their previous responsibilities are gone. It’s natural to wonder what to do next and want to find a new sense of purpose.
What makes the difference between a normal transition and a crisis is the way a person approaches those changes. Someone with a strong social support network who pursues fulfilling activities is more likely to cope well with the change than someone who makes significant, abrupt changes without considering their long-term repercussions.
Coping Strategies and Support Systems
A midlife crisis isn’t like a traditional medical condition that can be treated. Rather, it’s something each individual must process and explore themselves. Fortunately, with the right support and coping strategies, it’s possible to turn a midlife crisis into a time of positive change. Try the following strategies to cope with the challenges of midlife:
- Talk to a person you trust. Confide in someone, whether that’s your partner, a trusted friend or a therapist. Recognize the emotions you’re feeling and share them so you’re not fighting them alone.
- Reframe the issue. Rather than focusing on past regrets or missed opportunities, think about the ways you’re better off today and the opportunities you still have ahead of you. Take this chance to make a positive change in your life.
- Take time to reflect. Don’t make any major changes while you’re feeling intense emotions. Do take a life audit and look at small changes, such as living a healthier lifestyle or taking up a new hobby, but give yourself time to consider extreme changes, especially ones that might impact other people.
- Consider couples counseling. If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, consider having couples counseling to help you both navigate this confusing period of your lives. If you’re a similar age, you might both be feeling lost or confused, and couples counseling could help you learn to communicate and support each other better.
Seeking Professional Help
There are no diagnostic criteria for a midlife crisis, and the phenomenon manifests itself in many different ways. Some people can cope with their emotions by talking to their support network and busying themselves with volunteering or fun new hobbies.
For others, the emotions brought up by entering a new stage of life are more powerful. In that case, it may be necessary to seek support from a professional. Working with a counselor or therapist can help you identify your emotions and find healthy ways to channel them.
If you or someone close to you is going through a midlife crisis and turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s particularly important to find support from a professional who understands those specific issues, whether it’s depression, alcohol abuse or stress. With the right help, you can improve your well-being and approach the next chapter of your life more positively.
Embracing Change and Growth
Midlife is just the start of a new chapter in your life and a chance for you to grow and embrace new opportunities. If you’re struggling to feel positive about this new chapter or feel overwhelmed by the question of what’s next, the counselors at FHE Health can help you navigate these challenges. Call FHE Health today to book an initial consultation and beat those midlife blues.
