Living with alcoholic parents can be challenging. Due to their substance abuse problems, they may display abnormal behaviors, struggle to maintain a job or fail to meet your emotional and physical needs. Without help, you risk developing your own addiction or mental health issues that can last into adulthood.
Learning how to identify signs of substance abuse and cope with your parent’s actions can protect your well-being. This article explores common signs of addiction, the effects of growing up with an alcoholic parent and how to find needed support.
Recognizing Signs of Alcoholic Parents
If you live with a parent who has a drug or alcohol problem, you aren’t alone. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, about 17.3% of the U.S. population reported having a substance use disorder in 2022. Among that percentage, 29.5 million people struggled with alcohol abuse, while the remainder experienced drug problems.
Addiction affects everyone differently. Some people exhibit clear signs. Others are better at hiding their struggles, especially if they’re a high-functioning addict. Common signs of substance abuse include:
- Having difficulty maintaining a job
- Prioritizing drinking or doing drugs over other obligations
- Experiencing irritability, mood swings, anxiety, or frequent hangovers
- Excusing their substance use and other reckless behaviors
- Drinking alone or secretly
- Self-isolating from family and friends
- Facing financial difficulties
- Experiencing blackouts or memory loss
- Displaying changes in appearance, behavior, or social circles
Alcoholic parents may also neglect their children’s physical and emotional needs. For example, they may purchase drugs or alcohol instead of food or other household items. Additionally, they may spend long periods of time away from home taking or searching for drugs.
The Impact of Growing Up With an Alcoholic Parent
When a parent struggles with addiction, their behaviors and actions affect the entire household. Their children may experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, psychological, and behavioral effects.
Cognitive Effects
Children develop cognitive skills through methods including social interactions, reading, and puzzle games during their early years. If a parent fails to provide this exposure due to substance abuse, their children may experience developmental issues with speech, language, and memory. These consequences can cause future academic problems, including:
- Low-grade point averages
- Poor performance in reading, math, or spelling
- Grade-level retention or failed classes
- Impaired learning capacity
- Failure to pursue higher education
Emotional and Psychological Effects
Children of alcoholic parents also experience issues with emotional and psychological functioning, affecting their ability to build interpersonal relationships and cope with stressful situations. Common effects include:
- Anxiety or depression
- Low self-esteem or self-worth
- Difficulty expressing and processing emotions
- Aggression toward others
- Feeling angry or resentful toward their parents
- Separation anxiety
- Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
If a parent becomes abusive or neglectful when intoxicated, their child may struggle with mental health issues, including complex post-traumatic stress disorder. They may also exhibit a heightened sense of awareness of their surroundings to identify potential threats.
Additionally, households with alcoholic parents can raise safety or stability concerns, making children feel vulnerable or helpless. These feelings can cause a child to develop an unhealthy desire for control over their life or the actions of others.
Behavioral Effects
When a parent spends most of their time intoxicated, their children may end up parenting themselves or their siblings. This can cause them to prioritize others’ needs over their own, interfering with their ability to go to school, work or maintain social relationships.
Some children may develop aggression or anger issues, causing them to engage in impulsive or reckless behaviors, such as vandalism, theft, or self-harm. Others may mimic their parent’s behavior and turn to substance abuse to cope with unpleasant emotions.
How to Cope With an Alcoholic Parent
Coping with an alcoholic parent isn’t easy. You may want to offer support and help them access professional treatment. However, most Americans with substance use disorders don’t seek care. A 2022 SAMHSA survey revealed only 4.6% of individuals with an addiction received treatment in the past year.
Don’t blame yourself if your parent refuses help. It’s important to protect your own health and well-being. Explore these tips on how to deal with an alcoholic parent while prioritizing your personal needs.
Facilitate Open Communication
Try talking to your parent about their substance abuse issues if you feel comfortable doing so. Explain how their actions make you feel and that you’re worried about their health. Consider getting another family member involved for support, especially if your parent can be aggressive or abusive. Facilitating open communication also presents an opportunity to discuss potential treatment options, including rehab or therapy.
Practice Self-Care
Identify healthy self-care activities to turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed. These include taking walks, visiting friends, journaling, or listening to music. Self-care strategies provide relief from negative emotions and can help you avoid developing your own substance abuse issues.
Build a Support System
Reach out to trusted friends or family members for support and guidance. Having a strong support network gives you a safe place to escape to when you need to express your feelings or leave the house. Additionally, consider searching for local support groups, such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. These help family members of addicts connect with others sharing similar struggles to swap advice, experiences, and coping strategies.
Seek Professional Help
Growing up with an alcoholic parent can cause long-lasting mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Speak to a school counselor or psychologist to discuss therapy, counseling, or other supportive resources. These can help you process complex feelings and learn healthier coping skills.
If your parent’s substance abuse compromises your safety, seek immediate assistance from a family member, school employee, or law enforcement official. They can help you navigate the next steps.
Connect With a Mental Health Expert
Watching a parent struggle with addiction can negatively impact your mental health. Fortunately, help is available. At FHE Health, we can provide a safe space to help you process your experience with alcoholic parents and connect with the appropriate services. Contact us today to speak with a compassionate counselor and get access to the support you need.
