INVENTORY and Freedom by Peter Marinelli
Let’s take an inventory of ourselves.
For so long we have been busy (whether we were aware of it or not) of taking everyone else’s inventory, leading to gossip, judging and the character assassination of others. The result of this is that we find ourselves left exhausted, with an emotional hangover which permeates every area of our lives. It continually moves us away from being connected with God and others, and increases our feeling of separateness and isolation.
Now when we take our own inventory, although this may be an unpleasant task at first, it will be the beginning of an incredible experience with freedom.
Taking the inventory of others and fault finding are forms of unmanageability generated by a level of consciousness to live life on self will.
If were to reflect for a moment on how this type of living was working, we would quickly find out it wasn’t and that the external world owns me.
Searching out the areas within, which are unresolved, and making an attempt to get these areas resolved is vital to a peaceful and successful life.
Discovering how resentful I have been and at how many people I’m angry with, is not a pleasant task at first. This process will also allow us to see how much fear we walk around with (all hidden) and how our thoughts are fueled by fear, our words our moved by fear and our actions are dictated by fear. Yet when someone is asked how are you? the standard replies are “good”, great” is “I’m fine”.
We try not thinking about our fears and resentments, but forget the same instrument (the mind) that’s is telling me not to think about the resentment or fear, is the same mind that is making me think about them over and over and over. We can’t solve a problem on the same level of consciousness that created it.
The mind will never give itself up. It will never sign off on its own suicide and it wants to be employed.
Putting pen to paper and taking stock of one’s life and in that process looking at our part in every area and or event will eventually get us to a point of seeing truth for the first time and will present itself with amends that need to be made. The result is freedom.
The common thread in taking one’s inventory and uncommon to the way most of live, is that we no longer get to blame or find fault with someone else. Even though others may have harmed us, perhaps great harm to us, but we take a look at ourselves. Tall order, but it must be done. Now this isn’t to make ourselves into some lowly creatures that caused all these problems, but rather to simply see what we have either contributed to it or have held onto. Now the ego wants no part of this type of exercise as it needs to breathe and give us more drama. It cannot bear to find out fault in self as it may die. It will fight for its life as soon as we even think about doing as much as putting pen to paper.
So recognize this resistance if you experience any, as your thinking mind and that wonderful thing we call ego (easing-God- out) starts to tell you that this process of inventory is a bad idea.
For most of living here and now is just a passing moment because we are so condemned with our own drama?
Too often we look back in regret to the steps we took to get where we are or want to be. That they were wasted steps.”If I only would have done this sooner”, “if I didn’t do this” or “I should have done that” Yet let us get clear that all these steps were necessary in the journey. We often look at the last step in the journey as the one that counts, but all the others no matter how great a detour they appeared to be, were part of the necessary journey. Each one consider glorious. We no longer look at them as failures but part of the process.
Am I free?
Blessings
Chop wood, carry water
Peter Marinelli
