Chances are you are reading this letter and when I tell you where you are in life, what your thoughts are, and what kind of person you have become, you will do two totally opposite things. You wont believe me but you will hope it is true. Because as your future non drug addicted self I know the pain you are going through. I know the pain and I am here to tell you that it ends. All of those dreams and ideas and awesome parts of yourself will become reality for you; it might be a little different than what you are expecting but I promise you will love it just the same.
Anyways, let me start off first by saying.
1. Don’t Hate Yourself
It is ok. This is a part of your journey of breaking free from me, your drug addicted self. I know how much this hurts right now and I know how much you think about where everything went off the rails. I am here to tell you not to beat yourself up. You are young and you have your entire life ahead of you and eventually you will do the right thing. It is going to take an immense amount of courage and you will go through unbelievable pain but I can promise you it will all be worth it.
2. That Guy You’re With, He Isn’t the One
You kind of know that already though don’t you? You do. I know you because I am you. That relationship is going to end. You aren’t sure how. And you don’t want it to and it will feel like someone smashed your heart into a million pieces but you will make it through. And eventually you will be able to see that it was meant to end. And you will never again wish for anything different.
3. Don’t Believe the Haters
Your drug addicted self knows that there are people who are going to make you feel like you aren’t worth anything. Like you are the worst thing that has happened to them and their friends. They are going to make you feel so low. I am here to tell you to forget them. They are going to be doing the same thing, in the same place while you are living your life becoming well. Believe it or not, everything they are saying about you right now, you will become the exact opposite. They will wonder how you got out while they are still stuck. So just keep going. Don’t let anyone tell you are not worth this because you are.
4. It is Going to Get Worse Before it Gets Better
I really wish I didn’t have to say this to you but it is the God’s honest truth. You are going to puke, you are going to cry, you are going to wish you could just end your own life. You are going to curl up in a little ball of bone and skin, underweight, and shake. You are going to be incapable of sleeping by yourself. You will have nightmares. You will feel like the world is coming to an end. Like the world is working against you. You are going to travel through an immense amount of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering. You are going to have to dive deep down inside of yourself. But guess what? You get through it. And it will get better after that.
5. You Will Mess Up, Don’t Give Up
You are going to mess up a few times. You will have to go treatment more than once. This is going to take you a minute to figure out. I know you don’t quite know why your life is the way it is or why you are using and drinking like you are. I know that you think if you just stop everything life will get better. I am here to tell you when life doesn’t get better because you simply put the stuff down; you are going to mess up. And that is ok. You are smart, and you are insightful. You are going to learn from every screw up. You in all reality will make no mistakes because you learn from every one of them. You do make it out onto the other side. You do get this. It is just going to be a bit of a process. Keep your HOPE. Keep doing what you know is right.
6. Your Parents Are Not Your Enemies
As much as it seems like your parents are just trying to make your life a living hell, please, please realize they are just trying to save you. You know the truth deep down, that this lifestyle your living isn’t ok. You know your parents are right. And trust me, they are going to help you when you feel anything but worthy of help. They won’t be able to break your fall but they will be the cushion and hope you need to push forward. Don’t take them for granted. Reach out to them sooner rather than later. Realize they can just see the truth while you are blinded by your addiction. Give them a chance. Try to see that they are human beings. You will realize this on your own eventually—and when you do changes will happen.
7. Keep Going
Living a drug addicted life may seem like hell, but it is going to get better. Do not stop. Do not give up. You are worth it. That goal list you have in your head and that you will eventually put down on paper, you know the one that lists all of the things you want to be, all the qualities you want to have, you will become that person. Don’t you ever give up on this. This is not reserved the special few. Anyone can have sobriety and that means you too. You will watch miracles happen. You will finally see the power of a higher power in your life. And life will take on a new meaning, life will become the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced. So don’t you dare think twice about not doing this. You will make it through everything, the heart break, the withdrawal, the cravings, the insecurity, the pain, the doubt, the relapses, all of it. You will make it through and you will eventually be sitting here writing this letter like I am now.
Until then,
Hang on, pain ends. (Keep your HOPE close to your heart.)
