As I have started a journey through the steps once again (as I do annually) I have already been provided with new insights.
When I was first brought to the steps, I was told it was to be done once and then one could live in steps 10-12.
I did this for a bunch of years and found that at some point something more was needed. I began to feel as if I was hitting a wall. I didn’t lack discipline to practice prayer and meditation or writing nightly inventory, meetings or calling the sponsor, it was just something was not right.
Years ago I spoke with Paul M from Chicago about “re working “ the steps and he passed on some wonderful information as to what he experienced in his journey and with our early members and what he found as a wonderful remedy for hitting the wall.
Paul explained that he and others, after a few years of sobriety began to experience the re construction of the ego and with that began to feel disconnected restless, irritable, discontented, depressed ect. While Paul was waiting for one of his “sponcees” to come to his house to share a fifth step, Paul claims he decided to write out some inventory ( some things that were pressing on him) and then share it with the gentleman who was to be there to sit with Paul for his fifth step. Well Paul did just that, and took a look at some the glaring defects and created a new eighth step list and found some new amends to be made and then was rocketed into steps 10, 11 and 12.
I’ve had, as well as so many others who go through the steps over and over, incredible experiences.
As one of my spiritual teachers once said “I like the effect produced by God.”
I do this this as I also like the effect produced by God and just the same way as I like passing onto others what I have been given and to be of maximum service to God and others. To be free of self and to experience bliss and again pass that onto to others.
Some may have contempt prior to investigation on this matter of reworking the steps but how can we have a view on this unless we have tried.
Now if those of you who are reading this are happy joyous and free, I am not trying to change anyone, it’s just a simple consideration and some of my experiences of being on both sides of this equation
I guess the question is this if you feel free do want to get free-er? If you are not feeling free, do you want to get free?
Chop wood, carry water