Addiction really isn’t a joke.
First, let us make that clear. Most of us in addiction have known someone that has passed away due to the disease. It is progressive, chronic and fatal without some type of recovery. We get it. Trust us. But there is also, for many of us in recovery a light heartedness that comes with getting better. We are able to look back on our situation with new eyes and new perspective. And if you talk to any of us a lot of the times between those of us who have been through it, there is humor involved. And that is what this post is about. So with that disclaimer out of the way let’s get started.
So addicts in active addiction, including myself, kind of take on a “haunted” look if you will. Most substances cause a disturbing look in the individual. You could almost describe it as vampire-like or “vampy.” While we don’t literally suck the blood out of anyone’s neck and we don’t turn into bats a night—some of the analogies make for a pretty good Dracul-esque story.
Here are some of the ways addicts are like vamps, and we aren’t talking the Twilight kind.
10 Similarities Between Addicts and Vampires
- They’re Pale
I don’t know how many heroin addicts go romping around in full sunlight but I know I sure didn’t. Which made me quite pasty over the years. I became not only sickly looking but pale. Vampy? Most definitely.
- They Don’t Go Out in Sunlight
This kind of applies to number one. But it is less about being pale and more about just not really liking the sunlight. I hated the sun. I would do my best to block out every winking beam of light trying to come in the crevices of my windows. Why? It was so bright. Two, it reminded me that another day had come and gone. (Insert vampire hiss here.)
- They Think They’re Immortal
Don’t even pretend. Vee all had this immortality complex at one point or another. That kind of subconscious or even conscious thought of “Overdose doesn’t happen to me.” Or the whole, “I’m smarter than the average addict, I know what I am doing,” thing. At one point or another we all thought death was relevant to us.
- They Are Really Good at Manipulating People
Compare this one to a Vampire’s ability to use it’s soothing voice and good looks to seduce and entrap it’s victims. While we weren’t trying to necessarily manipulate so we could suck someone’s blood, we definitely were using people we knew for other things—even people we didn’t know! And boy, were we great at it.
- They Don’t Eat Very Often
Drugs do not equal an appetite. This led many of us down a path where food either became a non-existent thought, or just sounded downright gross. Much like the Vampire with people food.
- They Suck the Life Out of You
It sounds like I am really ragging on addicts but c’mon we know this is true. How many sleepless nights did your loved one’s have while you were using? How many relationships were you in where you took the other person “hostage?” Yeah, that is what I thought. We suck the life out of people in a very literal sense. Whether it is stress, loss of sleep, consuming thoughts—we steal life away from other people with our selfish and self-centered actions.
- They Can’t Be Around Silver
You’re probably wondering where this one is going. Well, exchange silver for any precious metal and you have basically any and everything an addict would take to pawn shop. We couldn’t be around anything with value because we would take it and use it to feed our habit.
- You Can Find Them in Dark and Seedy Places
While not all addicts hang out in dark, dingy, creepy places that the average person wouldn’t dare go near, a lot of them do. And even if it isn’t their home they may have to stop by those dark places to get what they need.
- They Avoid Mirrors
Vamps can’t see themselves in mirrors and for us we probably wished that was the case. Most of us, while we may have looked in mirrors could never truly SEE ourselves. We couldn’t see what was happening. And once we started to realize what was happing we could never make eye contact in the mirror—at least not for very long. Then we would have to face ourselves. Eyes are the windows to the soul after all.
- You Can Be in A Room With 4 of Them and Never Know It
Now this could apply to being in recovery or not. But addicts and alcoholics don’t always give away that they are using and if they are sober it can be very hard to detect a rocky past. For the normal person this is especially true. They would never know they were sitting in a room with a bunch of us unless we straight up told them.
That’s all! Now can you see how we were like Vampires? And hey, on the bright side, while we didn’t sparkle then, we sure as hell sparkle now. We are the least Vampy people ever once we get sober. Recovery is a beautiful, beautiful thing. And that is the one thing that makes us different from vampires. Our situation doesn’t have to be permanent. We can change, be different, and get a whole lot out of life!
In fact, most of us become the exact opposite of all these things.
Have a good day! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.