See Camille’s Drug Addiction Recovery Story
I was a dishonest, self-centered, junkie that couldn’t get out of bed without a fix and now I’m a mindful, supportive woman with a home and job that I show up to.
“We may be from different parts of the world but I’ve come to realize my thoughts and feelings are the exact same as any other addict/alcoholic.
My name is Camille and I’m a 23 year old from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. The series of events that led up to my full-blown addiction is very similar to any other addict or alcoholics. It looked like one lie, one theft, one drink, one bad idea… They were simply distractions from myself.
Substances and acting out made me feel alive and a part of something greater then myself. My love affair with drugs or any mind-altering substance was instant. I spent years feeding my addiction every day, trying to keep the feeling alive. The longer I used the more hold drugs had on me. They eventually dominated my mind, body, soul, and affected every relationship I had. Drugs took priority over everything. When I became physically and mentally exhausted by the vicious cycle, I reached out for help. I was extremely ashamed so the only person I could stand to ask was my dad. He put me on the phone with someone from Florida House and I was on a plane two days later.
There was .01% of me that wanted to get clean. The other 99.99% wanted to continue on the path I believed I was destined for. I guess sometimes .01% is all you need. It took smallest amount of faith to get me to detox and continue on to treatment. I had no knowledge of 12 step programs or treatment prior to Florida House. They are a huge part of my recovery because they were my first introduction to process. I blindly took suggestions that I didn’t even understand.
I told myself that if I could get a year clean I could go back to my old life, but by the time I made it to a year I genuinely wanted to stay clean. I began actively working steps with a sponsor that actively works steps; I got an amazing home group, and I surrounded myself with clean/sober friends. I know that the second I stop working towards my recovery, I start working towards my relapse, so I stay involved in the process.
My experience with this process is so personal and all of it can’t be conveyed on paper. Everyone can understand the physical pain but emotional and spiritual pain is difficult to express. I just keep faith that every addict/alcoholic like myself, has felt the same emotions and will feel a similar spiritual growth through working a program. I was a dishonest, self-centered, junkie that couldn’t get out of bed without a fix and now I’m a mindful, supportive woman with a home and job that I show up to. It’s not magic, it didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t easy but if you want it badly enough and work for it, it is possible.
This has always stuck with me, “I gave up everything for one thing, and I gave up one thing for everything.”
I have my life back now. Getting clean is the hardest thing I have ever done. Staying clean day to day is getting easier… but this is also the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced and continue to experience on a day to day basis as long as I continue the journey along with the support of my fellow addict and alcoholics.